The Overflow of Friendship (Part 3)

So far we’ve looked at the foundation of gospel-centered friendship (Part 1) and practical examples of what that looks like (Part 2).  Now we’ll finish our study of Colossians 3:12-17 as we strive to build friendships shaped by the gospel.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:12-17

As we look at the final part of this passage, we see the overflow of relationships that have been built on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness. Each of these traits is motivated by love. Because God showed us love even when we didn’t deserve it, we can do the same. We can persevere in love even when relationships are difficult because we know that we are always loved by God. Love motivates and love unites. 

As we pursue friendships that are bound in unity, peace will be evident. This isn’t necessarily a pleasant feeling of calmness or lack of tension. Rather, it is referring to the peace that we have because we have been reconciled to God and to each other through the union we have with Christ.

There will still be disagreements and tension along the way. We will still make wrong turns. But we know that even though the road has some bumps, we are on the same road, heading to the same destination. As we continuously reorient our focus on love and unity, we can find ways to show gratitude for our friendships and what God has done for us. 

Paul’s letters are filled with examples of how to show thankfulness:

• I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. Philippians 1:3–5
• I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. Philemon 4–5

Just as we saw with compassion, gentleness, and the other “put on” qualities in Colossians 3, thankfulness isn’t just a positive personality trait, or a pleasant feeling toward others. Thankfulness is evident through actions and words. We need to frequently and directly express our appreciation for our friends, what they do, and how they are growing in Christlikeness. 

We also need to talk to each other about what God has done for us and how God is working in our lives. As Colossians 3 explains, thankfulness can be demonstrated through singing together. Sometimes when relationships are hard, we don’t feel like being with those people. We may want to take time away from gathering together with them at church. But those are the times when we need each other the most. Those are the times when we need to worship together and remember the things that unite us. Through Christ, what unites us is stronger than what divides us. 

Ultimately, no relationship will fulfill us. And we can never be the perfect friend that someone else is looking for. The broken parts of friendships and the longing for something better remind us to look to Jesus. He is the friend of sinners. Jesus is the friend who gave his life for us. He understands our weaknesses. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. 

Jesus is compassionate, kind, humble, patient, and forgiving.  Jesus is the love that unites us. He is the peace that rules in our hearts. Friendship shaped by the gospel isn’t about being the perfect friend. It begins and ends with following the perfect Friend.