 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28–30 These verses can be very confusing at first. At one level, they are comforting because Jesus says he will give us rest. But he also says to take his yoke, which is something that represents hard labor or oppression. A pair of oxen would be yoked together to plow a field. In the Old Testament, King Rehoboam threatened his subjects with a yoke of hard work (1 Kings 12:11). So how do we reconcile Jesus’ promise to give us rest when he follows that with the imagery of a yoke? We could misunderstand Jesus’ words as a call merely to slow down and take better care of ourselves. We might think the answer to our weariness is to declutter our lives, reduce expectations, practice mindfulness, and seek a calmer, more comfortable life. But these verses aren’t meant to encourage us to find ways to relieve stress and balance our lives. This misapplication takes the verses out of context and strips them of the rich lessons that Jesus intended by these words. In Matthew 11:20-24, Jesus denounces various cities for their lack of repentance. They had heard his words and seen his miracles, yet the people hadn’t changed. Instead of putting on sackcloth and ashes to mourn their sin, they continued to live in pride and would face judgment. Then in verses 25-27, Jesus explains that the Father and the Son reveal themselves to little children. And following verse 28, we see two accounts of the Pharisees complaining about Jesus and his disciples doing something on the Sabbath which was not lawful. The Pharisees had made rule-keeping the center of their religion, but had forgotten about compassion and mercy towards others. Jesus makes it clear that their Sabbath rules had drifted from the true meaning of the Sabbath and rest. So as we contemplate verses 28-30, we see that Jesus is contrasting those who come to him and rest in him with those who do not repent or burden themselves with perfectionistic standards. These two extremes are still seen today. We may refuse to deal with entrenched sins like bitterness, gluttony, laziness, or pride. Or we may be following standards we have imposed on ourselves that we think will earn us favor with God. For example, reading a certain number of Bible chapters each day and praying for every person on the church prayer list. Or never drinking alcohol, playing cards, or getting a tattoo. And making sure that others know that we never do these things. Neither of these extremes will save us from the judgment to come. And so, Jesus shows us the better way. He says, “Come to me.” If we are laboring and weary from trying to deny and hide our sin, come to him. If we are heavy laden by all the extra rules we are trying to carry, come to him. Jesus will give us rest. The rest that Jesus gives is a soul-rest. We can put off the yoke that we have made for ourselves. And we can put on his yoke instead. Yes, we will still be yoked — but we will be yoked to him! He will be beside us, helping us stay on the right path. With his yoke on, we won’t fall into the ditches of unrepentance or works-based self-righteousness. He will keep us on the path that leads to rest for our souls. But there’s more! Jesus doesn’t just give us instruction, he tells us why we should do this. He anchors his command to who he is and his character. We should take his yoke and we will find rest because Jesus is gentle and lowly.* He asks us to come to him, and he draws us to him. Jesus moves towards those who are struggling with sin and suffering. He knows our weaknesses because he was willing to enter into this world as a human. After living a perfect life, he took the heaviest yoke of all by taking up the cross and the weight of all the sins of all who believe in him. He did this for the “joy that was set before him” (Hebrews 12:1-2). What was the joy he was looking for? The joy of welcoming undeserving sinners into eternal life and rest with him. Soul-rest isn’t about working harder or ignoring our sin. It isn’t achieved by scheduling a spa day. It’s about looking at Jesus. Yes, Jesus’ yoke is light. But this doesn’t mean that obedience is optional. The yoke is easy and light, but if we try to do things our own way, we will chafe from pulling in the wrong direction. Jesus will always do what is needed to bring us back. And that is when we will find the yoke easy and light. The question is, are you yoked with Jesus? True soul-rest is found in a relationship with him. Come, and he will give you rest. His yoke is easy and his burden is light because he is walking with you. *In his books, Gentle and Lowly and The Heart of Jesus, Dane Ortlund gives a multi-faceted picture of who Jesus is and shows us his heart for sinners. See also: From the Mercy Seat to Christ
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 I have often walked away from conversations replaying my words in my mind—wishing I had said something differently, or perhaps not said anything at all. Sometimes the words themselves weren’t overtly sinful, but they weren’t especially helpful either. Scripture teaches us that words can hurt and heal. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Jesus reminds us that our careless words matter because they reveal what is in our hearts (Matthew 12:34).
The consequences of words can be devastating; they can indeed hurt us (contrary to what the “sticks and stones” mantra claims). Even when we think our motives are pure, at times we can be blinded to our own selfishness, insincerity, or pride. Our challenge is to think through what we really mean when we use certain phrases, or to examine how it may be perceived by those who are listening. Let’s look at a few common expressions that we say, but may not have carefully considered. These phrases or sayings are not always wrong or sinful. However, depending on the context, the way we use them may be confusing, unhelpful, or even damaging. Instead, we want to use our words to build up, encourage, and give grace (Ephesians 4:29). The first expression to consider is “to be honest…” As ambassadors of Christ, we should be known as people who are truthful. Our words should demonstrate integrity and sincerity. By saying “to be honest”, it can give the hearer the impression that in this particular instance we are being honest, but at other times we are not honest. Not only can it be confusing, but when we say this, it is sometimes followed by a harsh criticism or insensitive remark. Prefacing an observation with “to be honest” may be an attempt to make ourselves look better because it means that we think we are doing what is right, even if it may be hurtful. For example, we might say “To be honest, the sermon was rather boring today.” Rather than criticizing the sermon, we could say “I wasn’t as interested or engaged in the sermon.” Or perhaps we can choose silence if our words are not ones that will build up. Next, let’s consider the phrase “Not that it matters, but…” This expression is also very confusing. If it doesn’t matter, then why are we saying it? Unfortunately sometimes when we use this phrase, what we are about to say is not gracious. Again, we try to soften our harsh words by adding a qualifier. For example, many times people will follow this expression with an unkind comment about someone’s appearance. It’s also common to use this expression to minimize a boastful statement. For example, “Not that it matters, but I finished that report and submitted it on the same day.” In this case, instead of bragging about our achievement, we could offer to help the other person. In light of what we have considered with the first two expressions, take a moment to think about the phrase “Just saying”. At best, this phrase is redundant. People will know that we are “just saying” because …well…we just said it. This expression is frequently used to imply that our way is better. For example, “Our church does communion every week. Just sayin’.” Or “I don’t let my kids do that. Just sayin’”. You can see that not only are these statements prideful, but they also don’t allow for further discussion. A better option is to invite others to offer their perspective. This shows that we are ready to listen humbly and carefully (James 1:19). For each of these expressions, context matters. If you use one of these phrases in a casual conversation with a close friend, these can be humorous and light-hearted. When said in a face-to-face context, our facial expressions, body language, and tone can help to balance what we say so that the person understands our intent. If we are engaging with someone we don’t know as well or are using a written medium (text, email, social media), our words can be easily misunderstood. If there is something important that needs to be said, we can take the time to connect with the person in real time, in real life (or at least through a video call). I want you to know that I write for myself as much for you. The examples I used above are similar to things I have said. I often think back to what I have said and realize that it was said out of proud, selfish motives or was said in a way that was hurtful. I want to do better, but just changing what I say isn’t enough. As Matthew 12:34 says, our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts. If we want transformed speech, we need transformed hearts. One way to renew our hearts our our minds is to think on things that are glorifying to God. In Philippians 4:8,9 we are commanded to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and excellent. Another helpful practice is to consider Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” We can ask ourselves, “Is what I said (or am about to say) something that will build up? Does it fit the occasion? Do it give grace to those who hear?” Ultimately, our words should adorn the gospel. As we read and study Scripture, we can look to its words to shape our communication. It is not easy to always say the right thing. We don’t always fully understand our own motives or desires behind what we say or do. The good news is that when we speak carelessly or selfishly, as we confess and repent, God will forgive us. In our striving to communicate clearly, accurately, and compassionately, we know that the Holy Spirit is working in us to be more and more like Christ each day. We can’t do this on our own, so we need to regularly pray: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14).  Social media “memories” are great, aren’t they? We laugh at the funny picture of our pets, feel nostalgic at photos from our kids’ sporting events, and give thanks for the many memories from a vacation. Or we may cringe because of something we wish we hadn’t posted. It might be a meme that insulted someone or a video that made fun of someone’s misfortune. We may have complained about a minor inconvenience. And what about the quick replies —or extended debates — we left on other people’s posts? We can delete some of our words from social media, yet it’s difficult to erase the impressions they leave on those who read them. As we seek to be good ambassadors for Christ, we can use Galatians 5:19-23 as a framework to put off unbiblical communication and put on Christlike interactions. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. As Paul writes to the Galatians about the conflict between desires of the flesh and desires of the Spirit, he explains that it will be evident which of these are ruling us. Desires of the flesh will result in the list of “works” in verses 19-21. Most of the actions in these verses are commonly seen in interactions on social media. They can either be the reason why we post or share something — or they can be the outcome of an interaction. Paul firmly and directly warns that these are not appropriate for the citizens of God’s kingdom.
Before we interact on social media, it would be helpful to pray through each of the items in verses 20 and 21. We don’t always understand our own hearts, but the Holy Spirit is our Helper and Advocate. As we humbly approach God, we can ask him to make it clear to us if what we are about to say is motivated by any of these fleshly desires. There have been many times when I look back at something I had written on social media and realized the selfish or spiteful impulses that caused me to say something hurtful. It shows wisdom and humility if we take a few minutes — or days — to carefully consider our words before we post. But Paul doesn’t just warn us and leave us discouraged about our fleshly attitudes and actions. He reminds us that we can exhibit the fruit of the Spirit! Before we look at the evidence of the Spirit, let’s pause to notice that Paul doesn’t say that the qualities in verses 22-23 are “works” of the Spirit. We cannot manufacture the fruit on our own because they are the Spirit’s fruit. The Spirit produces this fruit in our lives because believers are filled by the Spirit at the moment we are saved. We are responsible to put off the works of the flesh and move forward in obedience — but we do not rely only on our efforts. The Spirit progressively shapes us to be more like Christ. Before we type, we can consider if our words truly reflect the fruit of the Spirit. Are my words motivated by love for God and others? Will this post show the joy and peace that I have through Christ? Is this comment or meme kind and gentle? If I were speaking in person, would I say this? When I take time to pray first, I am thankful that the Holy Spirit helps me to rephrase my words — or refrain from saying anything at all! It isn’t easy to know what fleshly desires lie behind our words. We will often choose attitudes and actions that do not reflect the fruit of the Spirit. There is only one person who perfectly exhibited the fruit of the Spirit. Christ’s motivations, words, and actions always displayed the character of God. But he is more than just a good teacher or role model. He willingly chose to take on himself the burden of all our sins. In exchange, he has given to us his righteousness. In Christ, God sees us as if we had never sinned. That includes every unkind rant, off-color meme, and impetuous comment we have shared! When we fail to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit, and turn to him in humble repentance, he forgives us. The assurance of forgiveness from our heavenly Father should also spur us to seek reconciliation with others. It isn’t possible or wise to try to reconcile with every person who has been affected by our words. But as you pray, ask God to show you whether there is someone you could reach out to. Humbly acknowledging how you hurt them and demonstrating that you want to make it right can be a difficult yet healing process. We are also called to extend forgiveness to others. We can be understanding and forgiving because we know that we are not without fault. When someone else posts or comments something that was hurtful or made us angry — instead of responding in kind, we can choose to show them a glimpse of how God’s love and mercy works. We can overlook the offense or we can reply with a gracious word or encouraging verse. The situation may sometimes warrant a face-to-face conversation — after prayerfully considering how to proceed. Our fleshly desires may lead us to post hastily, but Scripture shows us a better way. By pausing, reflecting on the fruit of the Spirit, and praying before we post, we allow God to guide our words and interactions. Christ’s forgiveness frees us to extend patience, gentleness, and grace to others—even online. Next time you’re about to share, comment, or post, pause, pray, then post (or don’t!). Let your words reflect God’s character, build up others, and honor Him in every interaction. |
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